


So there's that

by thelifeanddeathofanordinaryman



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Dreaming, M/M, Nightmares, PTSD, bucky is too good for this world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-05-26
Packaged: 2018-07-10 09:50:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6978445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelifeanddeathofanordinaryman/pseuds/thelifeanddeathofanordinaryman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky dreams.</p><p>He didn't use to, but he does now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	So there's that

Bucky dreams. 

He didn’t use to, but he does now.

He sees the children, the men and women, hears their screams and cries for help, smells the iron fragrance of blood and watches their wide dilated pupils slowly turn unfocused. Glassy.  
His “missions”, they called them. Like they weren’t people at all, like they didn’t have families, like they didn’t have a purpose. Like they hadn’t had a life they had yet to live.

He dreams of red. Rivers and seas overflowing with blood. They form a volcano, which bursts and it keeps getting more and more until the entire world is reduced to it. Blood that he spilled. 

At night, in his dreams, it’s like he’s Hydra’s slave all over again. Because that’s what he was, a slave. Bucky knows this much.

Steve told him he shouldn’t feel guilty because he didn’t kill them, Hydra did. But Steve doesn’t see each of them dying every night because he murdered them without a second thought. Steve doesn’t know how it had felt to have been part of Hydra once. 

But Bucky knows. Deep down he knows it isn’t his fault. But if that’s true then how come he can’t help but feel responsible for their deaths?

He is scared. 

He doesn’t want to hurt anyone, ever ever ever again. Especially not Steve. And he hasn’t. Yet. He is scared that he will though. 

Bucky dreams.

He didn’t use to, but he does now. 

But then again he also didn’t use to have the love of his life, in form of a blond supersoldier, sleeping next to him, hugging and kissing him, when the nightmares get too bad. So there’s that.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you soooo much for reading this. I hope you have a great day and encounter only amazing people today!


End file.
